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One of my missions in life is to help build confidence in those who may not feel pretty enough, or good enough about themselves.  I myself suffered from confidence and self-esteem issues, and over the years I learned how to love me.  So what happens now when I get tested with my confidence?  I wanted to share with you all an experience I had the other day.  Even though I do have my own publication I still work a regular full time job.  During lunch time, my co-workers and I eat together.  We will all decide on a place to eat and the majority of the time I am the one who will go and pick it up.  Well the other day I went into the place we chose and when I walked in, there were four guys sitting at the bar waiting to be served.  I could tell that they were regulars and all knew each other.  Instantly the guys started staring at me, but not the way I imagined.  I was rocking my multi-blond fro, had no makeup on, and of course I am plus size.  They looked me up and down and gave me that scrunched up face look like, “this chick is not attractive.”  The waitress walks up, and she is this thin, light skin mixed, early 20s chick, with jet black long hair going down her back.  Of course the guys lit up like a Christmas tree, grinning from ear to ear, as she walked behind the bar to serve me.  In my head I was like, “is this really happening right now?”  For about five minutes I was self-conscience about my appearance, and I was processing this feeling I was having.  As I was processing I started to think, “Why am I allowing four men that I never met, and who I will probably never see again dictate how I feel about myself?”  I was confident before I walked in.  Why would I allow them to change that?  So this is where I always say to others, “Your confidence starts with YOU!” I cannot be worried about how others view my OUTWARD appearance.  Why?  For one, I had to ask myself, “What type of attention was I looking to get?”  Those guys are obviously more interested in the sexual appearance of a lady (aka “eye candy”), instead of what’s on the inside.  I didn’t come to that restaurant to be looked at as eye candy.  For two, everyone is different, we all have flaws, and we are all unique.  What’s more important to me than being eye candy is being beautiful! Beauty is made up of several components.  It is not just an outward appearance, but your personality, how you carry yourself, and how you treat others. I AM DIFFERENT, I HAVE FLAWS, I AM UNIQUE, AND I AM BEAUTIFUL!  I will never allow someone else to validate how I am supposed to feel about myself.  As long as you have the combination of traits that make you beautiful, then there should be no reason why you cannot look at yourself in the mirror and see BEAUTY!  My makeup does not define my beauty, my hair, my clothes, my husband, and even others telling me I am beautiful (Which may make me feel better)…..none of that actually defines my beauty.  All of those things ENHANCES the beauty I already have.  The way I feel about myself starts with ME, just like the way you feel about yourself starts with YOU.  So who validates me? I do!  Who should validate you? You do!

Know your worth, know you are beautiful with or without enhancements, and NEVER allow others to validate you! #just_elf_you (Embrace You, Love You, Flaunt You)